The Twins of Our Inner Struggle

Cracking my eggs into the pan one morning revealed that each egg had a double yoke.  My youngest son asked if that meant the egg would produce twin chicks.  Not totally sure about egg fertilization, I told him that the yolk is actually the part of the egg that provides the developing embryo with the vital  source of vitamins, minerals and fat. 

Human twins develop in two different ways.  Dizygotic twins are twins that develop from two separate eggs and two separate sperm.  These twins are referred to as Fraternal twins.  Another way that twins form is when the initial fertilized egg divides to form two babies that are identical.

Fraternal twins have different physical features and can be different or the same gender.  At any rate the reality of having twins can be an overwhelming prospect especially if you are a first time mother.  

At the nursing home where we sing every Christmas with our church there is a precious little lady whose name is Mary.  The past 2 years Mary tells us that she was a twin and when her mother was giving birth, the doctor said "Here is one and here comes another!"  Mary's mother had not a clue that she would give birth to twins.  

Unlike Mary, when Rebekah, Isaac's wife, became pregnant, there was a battle raging inside her womb.  The movement of her babies was so intense that she sought the Lord in prayer.  

Genesis 25:21-23

And Isaac prayed to the LORD for his wife, because she was barren.  And the LORD granted his prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived.  The children struggled together with her, and she said, "If it is thus, why is this happening to me?"  So she went to inquire of the LORD.  And the LORD said to her, 

"Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you shall be divided;  the one shall be stronger than the other, the older shall serve the younger."  

This story reminds me of the war that occurs inside the believer.  Our flesh wants to rule and our spirit man is constantly battling in order to have the final say in our lives.  This is a reality that will plague the human heart until we are in the presence of Jesus.  

Many times the struggles that we face are in the internal womb of our spirits, where God is developing us into His children.  Often we feel the real tension that occurs when our identities are being conformed to Christ's image.    

How we respond to inner turmoil is of vital importance.  We must turn to God and inquire of the LORD.  So often our inner struggles are a result of our prayers.  

One of my favorite hymns written by John Newton describes how God answered prayers and the struggles become more intense.

1. I asked the Lord that I might grow 
In faith and love and every grace 
Might more of His salvation know 
And seek more earnestly His face

2. Twas He who taught me thus to pray 
And He I trust has answered prayer 
But it has been in such a way 
As almost drove me to despair

3. I hoped that in some favored hour 
At once He'd answer my request 
And by His love's constraining power 
Subdue my sins and give me rest

4. Instead of this He made me feel 
The hidden evils of my heart 
And let the angry powers of Hell 
Assault my soul in every part

5. Yea more with His own hand He seemed 
Intent to aggravate my woe 
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed, 
Cast out my feelings, laid me low 

6. Lord why is this, I trembling cried 
Wilt Thou pursue thy worm to death? 
"Tis in this way" The Lord replied 
"I answer prayer for grace and faith"

7. "These inward trials I employ 
From self and pride to set thee free 
And break thy schemes of earthly joy 
That thou mayest seek thy all in me, 
That thou mayest seek thy all in me."

Just like the prayer for patience that leads to the intercessor being continually put through rigorous trials , whose eventual plaguing produce the patience that person wishes to maintain.  It is through the repetitive 'practice' we begin to realize the work of patience in our lives. 

Our inner hostility should cause us to cry out to the LORD, knowing that we alone are powerless to produce deep heart change in our lives.  

When met with inner turmoil and struggling we often feel a sense of confusion and fear and this is a reasonable response when we are in essence being stripped down to the bare essentials of who we are.  

I Corinthians 2:14

But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised.  

It is not our job to understand how and why God does or allows what he does in our lives, and as He spoke to Job He makes it very clear that He alone knows what He is doing.  

 God's 'fair' design for our lives usually entails this stripping process and it causes a great internal war within us but He never leaves us or forsakes us during this process.  As a matter of fact, God is intimately acquainted with the process because He ordained it!

Abba, thank you for your sovereign rule over our lives.  We say we trust you today and we bring our inner battle between our spirit and our flesh.  We inquire of you today Lord to give us understanding  as you continually work on our inner sanctuary, making it a mansion with many rooms fit for the King of Kings.  

Help us to see that we are powerless with out you but that in our struggles You produce perseverance, perseverance produces character, character produces hope and hope does not disappoint because God has poured out His love into our hearts, through the Holy Spirit who He has given us.